Kids in Church

For the last 10 years or so, my church experiences have centered around "oh no, what are those kids doing now". We've been attending our church since Chasquida was 2. When we first started going there, we sat behind a very refined elderly couple thinking that they might be grandparently types who would tolerate some of Chasquida's less desirable behaviors. At that time, the church had nursery for only babies up to 2. I never understood that, because at 2, they're just getting started with naughtyness. After 3 of my kids, the church now strongly recommends, in fact stops just shy of demanding, that children stay in the nursery at least till 3 and preferably 4. The refined elderly couple stopped attending just a couple weeks after I caught Chasquida flicking the lady's dangling earrings and making them swing. Coincidence? I think not.

I could write a book on the my kids' misadventures in church. The dear lady who teaches the 3-6 yr old Sunday School has had at least one of my angels in class for the last 7 years. She recently told me that she was pretty sure she knew more about our family than anyone. If she weren't so kind, I'd swear I heard a blackmail threat in there. Apparently, the kids really enjoy confessing mommy and daddy's sins.

Last Sunday, Gimli had two separate incidents both involving the bathroom. He's recently been baptized and we now allow him to participate in communion which has fast become his favorite part of church. We only do communion once a month and he's only gotten to take it twice so far so it's a pretty big deal to him. Right before communion this last Sunday, he had to go to the bathroom so went by himself - he's a big boy now you know. Well, he heard the communion music from the potty and was so afraid he'd miss out that he came tearing out of the bathroom and running down the center aisle of the church (we sit near the front) with his shirt untucked, his zipper down, and carrying his belt in his hand.

His second incident of the day came that evening during the Bible study service (by the way, this is a study for the adults, we just don't have anywhere else to send the kids). He left for a few minutes to go to the bathroom and we were just finishing up when he returned. The pastor was taking a few last questions and he asked if anyone else had anything to ask. Gimli raised his hand (I always cringe when our kids do that) and asked very politely, "Could you please tell me what I missed while I was in the bathroom?" Sigh...

I don't even want to think about Huck's exploits right now. There's only so much one can take.