Calling For Huckabee Part II

I decided I was being a little premature to retire from the political scene so early, so I dug out the microphone and head set and dialed up Skype. After calling the Skype people and being assured they could hear me, I fired up the call sheet for Huck's campaign. The first few calls went fine, mainly because none of them answered and I could just leave messages. Of the 15 people I called, only two answered the phone. The first lady was awesome! I asked her if I could take a moment to tell her why I supported Huckabee and she very sweetly said that I could, but that she was already on her way to vote for him and taking a caravan of her retirement home friends with her. We ended up talking for 10 minutes about where we were from and why we liked Huckabee and what we were doing today, and then I remembered that the calls are taped and that we're supposed to follow the script. Apparently, I'm not any good at following the script because the next live caller I got went nothing like the script. As soon as I introduced myself, she went into a minute long rant about how she would have voted for Huckabee, but now she wasn't voting for anyone because she was so sick of all the phone calls. Uh-oh. I told her that I was sorry for bothering her, that the system was supposed to be set up so that you were only called once by a Huckabee supporter. She then admitted that I was the first Huckabee caller and the only live political caller. Apparently, she'd been bombarded by recordings from Romney and McCain and getting angrier and angrier when there wasn't anyone live to tell off. That's when I called. I told her that I couldn't really apologize for their campaign tactics but that I was sorry I had upset her. She said it wasn't really my fault she guessed, and she was right across the street from the polling place, but she was not about to go over there. I told her that I understood the fallout from the political mudslinging and pressure tactics and that was one of the reasons I had caucused for Huck in Iowa and was making the phone calls, because I really feel Huckabee is different. She started talking about how surprised she was that he had won in Iowa. I told her it was because a lot of folks felt just like she did and that they were sick of the status quo politician too. I could tell she was starting to feel guilty, because she kept saying well, I would go vote if I weren't so mad, but I don't suppose that's your fault, I probably shouldn't have been so frustrated with you, I guess the Huckabee campaign hasn't really done anything that's upset me, I just hate politics.... I just said that I was really sorry she'd been upset by all the phone calls and that I hate that I had contributed to her distress and that I hoped she didn't let this darken her day. She said it was okay, and she really should go vote she guessed, but she wasn't saying for sure she'd go. I just said that we understand her reasons for being upset with the political arena and that if she changed her mind we would be grateful. What an emotional call! I felt like I needed to eat afterwards. If I blow my diet today, it is all Mike Huckabee's fault.

Ardent Supporter or Campaign Menace?

Last night, while checking out the Mike Huckabee website, I came across a sign up sheet for volunteers to make phone calls to the Sunshine state on his behalf. Immediately I signed up. I figured this was a great way to help out the campaign without having to actually give money (something a little in short supply at the moment). We have a skype account where we can make long distance calls from our computer for like $3 a month, so we're not out the cost of the call. Unfortunately, the call quality isn't as good as a phone and you have to use the microphone. Nonetheless, I'm all excited to be able to help the cause and get all signed up and have my list of names to call. The first phone call is an elderly gentleman who absolutely cannot hear me. It goes something like this.

Me : Hello, My name is Dixie and I'm a volunteer for the
Him : Hello
Me: My name is Dixie and
Him: HELLO
Me: I said my name
Him: HELLO!!
Me: Excuse me, can you hear
Him: Stupid telemarketers... *slam* hangs up the phone.

Okay - so not totally discouraged, I go on to the next name. I'm rolling through my list, leaving messages, doing my patriotic duty, but every time I get a live caller (and they are all elderly folks - everyone must retire to FL, except my grandparents who actually left FL and retired to southern IL) the same little shouting and hang up scenario repeats itself. After about five of these, I am convinced that everyone in Florida is deaf. That's when I notice a little graphic in my call screen - a microphone with a slash through it. Curious, I clicked on it and the following appeared "Microphone is muted. Skype cannot hear you." Oops. For 45 minutes, I have been leaving messages and calling folks all with my microphone turned off. And thus ended my glorious political advocate career. If Huck loses by less than 15 votes, I will feel very personally responsible.

The Blog Has Paid Off!!!

At last!! All my tireless toiling and blogging effort has reaped a reward. Yesterday, I received not one but TWO boxes of Weight Watchers Peanut Butter Bliss in the mail!! A kind soul has read of my scotcheroo struggles and has planned an intervention to tempt me away from the dark side and back into the Weight Watchers fold. And it is working! These little (and unfortunately I must stress the word little) candy bars are amazing. They have a crunchy bottom layer of chocolately goodness topped with a peanut buttery cream layer, and then the whole thing is dipped in a peanut buttersctochy candy coating. They are so good! And get this - each little (and again, I do mean little) bar is only 1 point! There are less points in the entire box of 12 than in 1 decent sized hunk of scotcheroo. Thanks Mom - you rock!! And tell stepdaddy thank you for mailing them!

This blogger is not a paid advertiser for Weight Watchers and does not receive any compensation for Weight Watcher endorsements. If Weight Watchers feels compensation is due, a lifetime supply of Peanut Butter Bliss would not be unwelcome.

Green Bean Negotiations

Paul and I decided the kids weren't eating enough (read any) vegetables in their diets. In fact, their lunches this past week looks like this: corndogs, hamburgers, chicken strips, egg and biscuits, tater tots, and spaghetti without sauce. Not a veggie in sight - oh wait - can I count the tater tots? Technically, they are a vegetable right? Good, I'm not such a terrible mom after all. In reality, veggies have been offered at each meal, just not eaten. Today, we decided they had to at least eat one green bean to get up from the table. Gimli and Chasquida gulped down their green bean and got it over with. Huck was not so easily convinced. Seriously, peace talks were conducted with less negotiation. The following is a transcript of the Green Bean Talks of 2008:

Huck: But I don't want to eat a green bean.
Paul: Why not?
H: I don't know what it tastes like.
P. You don't know what the new Pizza Pringles taste like either but you'll try them.
H: I do too know what they taste like - pizza. It's on the can.
P: Well green beans taste like green beans - see it's on the can.
H: But I don't know what a green bean tastes like!!! (getting very frustrated)
Chasquida: They taste like water and green bean. (she's so helpful)
H: I like water, but I don't think I'll like green bean.
Me: They taste like green french fries.
All kids: Ewwww!
H: I hate green french fries!
P: They don't taste like green french fries - they're kind of salty and maybe a little bit like butter.
Ch: They're also furry. (again - so helpful)
H: What! I'm not eating anything with fur on it! I hate furry food!!
Gimli: You eat hamburgers - they have fur on them.
H: Nuh - uh. They do not!
Gimli: Yes they do - hamburgers are cows and cows are furry.
H: Oh right. I don't like hamburgers anymore.
P: Green beans are NOT FURRY!
Me: Well, technically, they are a little bit fuzzy.
H: Fuzzy is almost as bad as furry (now almost teary)
P: Thank you Dixie. So far, your contribution has been that they taste like fuzzy green french fries.
Me: You know what, come to think of it, I don't think I like green beans that much either.
P: (sigh....)
H: I definitely don't like green beans.
P: If you won't eat a green bean, you'll have to eat another vegetable.
H: I like carrot sticks
P: Really! You'll eat a carrot stick? Dixie, Get the man a carrot stick!
H: Wait. These are skinny carrots. I only eat the fat carrots.
P: What? Eat your skinny carrot.
H: But I don't know what the skinny carrots taste like....

Yuck

Normally (if I can have a normally since I've only done the blog less than a week) I try to post about lighter things. I like to see the humor in things, but there isn't anything funny about this post. I had something completely yucky happen today. The kids and I were at the dentist office in the waiting room and it was just us and another man sitting alone. Chasquida was sitting about 5 seats away from him and I noticed he kept staring at her. That was enough to activate my mommy perv radar so I kept an eye on him while I was keeping the kids occupied. A few minutes later he gets out his cell phone and does this move where he casually yawns and stretches and very sneakily snaps a picture of my baby! Now I know I'm a paranoid mom, but I'm just certain that's what he did. He stretched and when the camera phone was pointed right at her, he pressed a button. I was too shocked to do anything but have her come sit by me. When it was time for the boys to go back for their cleaning, I made Chasquida come with us. When we were done, he was gone. Anyway, when I got home, I did a search of the sex offender registry for our town and I'm just sure I found him. It looks just like him and the height, weight, and age match. He had been convicted for sexual contact with a female under the age of 13. I called the police and they said they'd look into it, but I don't think it's actually against the law to take a photo of someone so I don't think anything will come of it. Most, if not all, states have an online sex offender registry and they're free to use. You just have to promise not to hurt anyone you see on it. I would highly advise checking it out every so often if you have kids. Iowa's registry is www.iowasexoffender.com.

Veggie Part II

I forgot to mention - Gimli and Huck were both totally freaked out by one point in the movie. This mountain of cheese curl snack things, that look all the world like little yellow thumbs, come to life and have a mouth and biting teeth. No eyes or faces, just an army of little cheese cracker fingers, with gnashing teeth where your thumbnail would be, chasing one of the characters around and trying to eat him. Gimli was hiding his face in my shirt going - "I can't believe I'm scared of a VeggieTale movie!" Huck has sworn off cheetos for life.

When Veggies Go Soft!!!

Can you have a VeggieTales movie without God in it? Apparently so. We went to see the new VeggieTales movie - "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" last night expecting something similar to the last 200 or so veggietales videos. Not so, something has definitely changed. There's no QWERTY computer with the Bible verse illustrating the show's theme, there's no "God made you special and He loves you very much!", no fun story with characters loosely based on Bible heroes. Nope, the name of God was left out of this one. The story was cute, the animation was great, the punch lines not as frequent but still there, even the silly songs were there (though jazzed up quite a bit - the veggies covered the B-52's Rock Lobster, only changing the lyrics to Rock Monster). All in all, fairly enjoyable. If you tilt your head and squint hard, you can even draw some corollaries between the father in the show and the Father in Heaven. But I really missed the unapologetic Christian nature of previous videos. If I'd never seen a VeggieTale movie before, I would have thought it was a great kids' movie. Knowing what they were like before though, I can't help but feel they've sold out. Bowed to the pressure of being politically correct. In their attempt to appeal to the masses, I'm afraid they've abandoned their core audience.

Scotcheroos - Not Weight Watchers Friendly!

Okay - so I dragged myself on board the weight watchers wagon - I would never have made it if I'd tried to jump on board - not to mention the damage to the wagon! So now I'm counting points. Usually, I like the point system and it goes well for me. Apparently it is not so friendly on birthdays. Paul made scotcheroos for me today instead of a birthday cake because I love them. I mean seriously love them - like when you first met your honey and just looking at him made you happy. Seeing the little scotcheroos in the pan in all their chocolatey, peanut buttery, butterscotchery goodness makes me feel the same way. I'm getting a little lightheaded just thinking about them... I know, I have serious issues.
Anyhoo - I calculated the points in them:
butterscotch chips - 44 points
chocolate chips - 46 points
corn syrup - 16 points
peanut butter - 32 points
cereal - 10 points
A grand total of 148 points for the pan of them - and I thought it was a pretty stinking small pan - okay, it was 9x12 but still... So I probably had 2 days of points in just my dessert tonight. And tomorrow is weigh-in day. Sad. Why, why did my birthday have to come the day before weigh-in??? Sigh...
Oh well, tomorrow is another day =) Golly, I must still be on a scotcheroo high - I got over that pretty quickly.

Introducing the Kids

Paul is still staying firm about not mentioning the kids' real names or posting their photos, but I do have the okay to go by nicknames. So I thought I should introduce their blog names so the folks who actually know my kids don't think I've gotten more - something that happens from time to time.

Chasquida - My 9 year old daughter, so named because her favorite phrase this year is "Oh snap!" Fans of "My Name is Earl" will understand the reference. C'mon - you know you Joy fans are out there - you can admit it - no one will ever know...

Gimli - My 6 year old son. He's been christened with this unfortunate moniker for a couple reasons. Gimli is the fighting dwarf in the Lord of the Rings series and he and my son share some sad commonalities. Neither one of them can seem to eat or drink anything without it falling out of their mouths and down their front. Also, my son has inherited his mother's short legs and tyrannosaurus-rex arms, giving him a definite Gimli look. (Paul likes to tuck his elbows in and wave his hands around and call me "T-rex" whenever I ask him to reach for something for me - he's a charmer.)

Huck - This is my 5 year old son's nickname due to his apparent hatred of shoes and socks and his tendency to roll his pants up to midcalf in any type of weather. His anti-authority attitude also contributes to his blog name.

So there you have it - my 3 kids - Chasquida, Gimli, and Huck.

Who Knew Tea Could Be So Dangerous!

Get this - I chipped my front tooth drinking tea yesterday! I had the hot tea in one of these super big soup mugs and I wasn't used to it's weight. As I picked it up and brought it to my mouth to drink, it picked up speed! The momentum of it overwhelmed me and it smashed into my teeth. Paul was talking to me at the time and he heard the clink from across the room. I couldn't help it, I just lost control of my mug. Apparently, I need to work out a bit - my upper body strength isn't where it should be. I thought Paul was going to crack a rib laughing at me. I knew drinking green tea was supposed to help you lose weight, but I didn't know the way it did it was to break your teeth off, rendering you incapable of eating that Symphony bar you had hidden in the top kitchen cabinet.

Inaugural Post!

Okay - here we go! I have no idea what this blog should be about so I thought I'd just post little snapshots of my life. Trust me, no one is ready for the whole picture! Any poor lost souls who've wandered in here unaware, just let me say that I'm a homeschooling mom of 3 who really should be getting back to 4th grade math instead of creating a blog that no one will ever see =) I've been married for 11 years now to a great guy who is as comfortable changing a diaper as he is doing a boardroom presentation. Our kids are 9, 6, and 5. I don't think my hubby wants me to name kids and put up their photos. Paul's kind of a paranoid IT guy. And I'm a paranoid mom, so you may just have to take my word for it that the kids exist =)
And sometimes we have extra little ones as we're also foster parents. In the years BTB (before three babies), I think I used to be a chemist. It gets kind of hazy thinking back more than a couple years. I vaguely remember going to work everyday and I'm pretty sure I went to college but that was a lifetime ago and really has nothing to do with life as I know it today.